Loading ...NHL Free Agency Part 3
OK, time for the third edition of my efforts to keep up with the NHL offseason. This week’s target will be our beloved Atlantic Division, and that will close out the Eastern Conference.
Pittsburgh Penguins: As I’ve stated before, life just keeps getting better for the current Cup Champions. There hasn’t been a lot of major movement as far as free agency, but the key is that all their major components are still in place. Readers may remember me talking about the St. Louis Blues’ buyout of defenseman Jay McKee, and how I didn’t understand it, and how he would most likely land with a struggling team willing to gamble on him. Well, where did he end up? You guessed it. I love being half-right. McKee (again, one of
Jay McKee: "You mean I don't have to play in St. Louis anymore? Sweet, I love Cup contenders."
the best shot blockers in the NHL when healthy) will more than make up for the couple of D-men the Pens lost. Signing tough guy Mike Rupp away from New Jersey was also a good move, as they need to keep up with the slew of other goon signings within the division. Additionally, the re-signings of playoff heroes Ruslan Fedotenko and Bill Guerin (yes, even at age 38) were extremely smart. The Pens should win the Atlantic this year. Also, I guess it’s time I humbly (but very begrudgingly because I don’t like them) apologize to the Pens because last year I said I didn’t think they looked that good on paper. I guess that’s why they play the games, and I guess that’s why I’m writing this blog and not coaching in the NHL.
Philadelphia Flyers: Oh boy… Well, it’s no secret that we’re a bunch of Philly homers here at almostathletes.com. Sadly, I think the Flyboys have some big questions coming into this season, and it’s proof that not only they, but the whole league hasn’t yet figured out how to manage the salary cap. I’ve already talked about the Chris Pronger deal in a previous column. Do I like it? Yes. Do I think it leaves them thin at forward? Yes, and while I like the signing of middleweight tough guy Ian Laperriere, I think they’re going to need someone else. Will a second-year Claude Giroux and a healthy Daniel Briere make up for the fifty goals they just lost letting go of Mike Knuble and Joffrey Lupul? We’ll see. However, the Flyers may have even bigger issues with which to drop the gloves. With Pronger, Laperriere, Scott Hartnell, Riley Cote, Aaron Asham and Dan Carcillo all in the mix, there’s no doubt in my mind that the Flyers will be the most penalized and most suspended team in the NHL this year, which begs the question: Will the goaltending hold up? Unfortunately, I have doubts. They’re taking a big chance on the tandem of Ray Emery (another possible penalty minutes problem who so wore out his welcome that he was relegated to Russia last year) and Brian “this is my third stint as a Flyer” Boucher. It doesn’t sound impressive, but I’m hoping the Flyers’ brass sees something in Emery that I don’t. To his credit, he did lead the Senators to the Finals a couple years ago, but that was when they had the best offense (and possibly defense) in the league. We’ll keep our skates crossed.
New York Rangers: (Pause for composure) It’s no secret that I hate the Rangers more than any other team in sports (yes, even more than the Dallas Cowboys). They’re a wretched and evil squad, and I don’t enjoy talking about them. This aside, they have made some moves that need to be discussed. Of course, their biggest move was grabbing Marion Gaborik from Minnesota for a five-year, 37 million dollar deal. Actually, I don’t have any problem with that. While that’s a nice and fair payday for a player who, when healthy, is a point-per-game guy (yeah, he’s that good and easily one of the fastest skaters in the league, but who would know because who cares about the Minnesota Wild?), Gaborik is made of glass and plays about twenty games a season. That sounds good to me. Someone tell the Rangers that I think Caspar the Friendly Ghost is also available. Anyway, the Blueshirts unfortunately also signed Donald Brashear away from the Caps, which should haunt just about everyone in the division, because he’s still a top-five pugilist. Getting Chris Higgins from Montreal in the deal for Scott Gomez will also help. However, the signing I will give them the highest marks for is the luring of Ales Kotalik from Edmonton. Believe it or not, the perennial 15-20 goal scorer could be a difference-maker. The Rangers should again be tough and talented like they always are, but for some reason this team never seems to gel properly, and that’s fine with me.
New Jersey Devils: Folks could hear a pin drop in New Jersey. There has literally been nothing going on in the Devils camp. However, when a team has the best goalie to ever play the game in Martin Brodeur, they really don’t have to do much. I often believe that Marty could play all by himself, five-on-none, and somehow still win, much like when Bugs Bunny played every position in a baseball game. Of course, the re-signings of Johnny Oduya and Travis Zajac certainly won’t hurt. The Devils will again still be good in the most competitive division in the NHL, and a team nobody wants to play in the playoffs.
Martin Biron: "Third string?... WHAT?!"
New York Islanders: Hold on, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I know I just stated that the Atlantic is the best grouping in hockey, but these jokers are an enormous exception. I have previously talked about what a ridiculous a franchise the Isles are, and unfortunately for them, I now have to provide further proof. It’s bad enough that they hilariously gave their franchise-and-made-of-balsa-wood goaltender, Rick Dipietro, an inflated and unprecedented fifteen-year contract. Rick is still having health issues and won’t be ready to start the season. So, what do they do to solve this problem? Yep, they signed two goalies. The Islanders took Dwayne Roloson away from Edmonton, and grabbed Martin Biron from the Flyers… Uh, what? Now, what are they going to do when Dipietro is healthy? It’s most likely going to leave someone (most likely Biron) out in the cold, or press box. Biron certainly won’t be happy being a third string (to think, he wanted big money to be a starter), and the Islanders won’t be happy when they can’t yield anything for him in the trade market. It never ends for these weirdos. Why didn’t they try to get some help for rookie and No. 1 pick John Tavares? Now, readers may ask, “Sieck, doesn’t Tavares have anyone to play with to help the Isles turn things around?” And, the answer is a resounding, “no.” Really, there’s no one. OK, there’s Doug Weight, who I think turns 100 years old this season. Yeah, Kyle Okposo is alright, but who cares? Mark my words, I know I’m not going out on a limb by guaranteeing these nerds finish dead last in the league… again.
THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS ARTICLE IS YOU CALLED THE ISLANDERS NERDS. FUNNY