Vindication.

            For years of arguments fallen on deaf ears.

            For what I was convinced was compelling evidence for my case.

            For what I knew to be an immutable fact about Michael Jordan.

            MJ is an awful person.

            My deep-seated loathing for the NBA’s greatest player is so multifaceted, so layered, so complex that I could never do it (or my readers) justice by laying it out in full on our modest little blog, but suffice it to say that no matter where Jordan’s ego takes him next, or more appropriately, where it takes him from, I’ll always have his Hall of Fame induction speech to remind me that I was, for once, completely right.

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             As a ravenous fan of the NBA in its relative heyday, 1980-1994 (RIP NBA), I, like all youngsters, had to make difficult choices about my team allegiances, my favorite players, and my love-to-hate ballers.  For whatever reason, I never gravitated toward Jordan despite the fact that such a show of fandom would have been so easy given that any hot-blooded American kid, who loved hoops, loved Jordan.  But even at age 12, I knew that something about the guy just wasn’t for me, so I found myself aligning with the Detroit Pistons and their heralded leader, Isiah Thomas.  To this day, I don’t know what drew me to Zeke other than that he was not MJ.

            Hell, maybe it was just the tongue.

            Fast forward to 1994 when assembly of the world’s finest International Basketball team, aptly dubbed “The Dream Team,” was just wrapping up with one insanely obvious oversight. 

            Hall of Fame point guard, Isiah Thomas.

            Isiah Thomas, who was widely considered the best point guard in the league at that time and for most of his career.

             Isiah Thomas, who led his team to back to back championships in 1988-1989 and 1989-1990.

             Isiah Thomas, who scored 25 points in a quarter in the 1988 Finals while playing on a severely sprained ankle.

             Isiah Thomas, who had a very public feud with MJ for most of his career.

            But this isn’t about Zeke, whose post-playing career has taken on a very sad life of its own, because as Jordan himself will tell you, and he did during his speech, it’s always about Jordan.

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             In the interest of full disclosure, I didn’t even watch the inductions.  Later, I felt a bit guilty about letting Jordan get in the way of enjoying the moment for two of the game’s most dignified ambassadors, David Robinson and John Stockton, both of whom served the league with grace, and for Stockton, with an insistence on making other players around him better, an ironic dichotomy to Jordan’s career.  But as I started to hear about the speech and field emails from friends who know how I feel about Jordan, I couldn’t resist the morbid curiosity any longer.

            The following is a brief breakdown of the most narcissistic speech in Hall of Fame history:

           1. Of course I can’t be certain, but when Jordan mentioned that he “shocked the shit” out of David Thompson by asking him to stand up for Jordan during the ceremony, we may have heard the HOF’s first swear word during an induction speech.

            2. By inviting Leroy Smith, the player kept instead of MJ during his sophomore season in high school, Jordan reminded his old coach that “you made a mistake, dude,” while simultaneously diminishing anything Smith has ever done because, let’s face it, he’s not Jordan.

            3. After bitterly rehashing his high school career, it only made sense to move chronologically to his next victim, Dean Smith. Only the second most lauded coach in college hoops history (Wooden), Jordan undressed Smith for not naming him as the fifth starter during a Sports Illustrated interview in 1981.

            4. Next was his tirade against the Bulls front office, in particular former GM Jerry Krause with whom Jordan had a very contentious relationship despite the fact that Krause built what many consider the greatest team of all time, the 1996 (72-10) team, around MJ even after he abruptly retired in 1993.

            5. At one point, Jordan reminded the audience that he “played with the flu” in Utah and sucked it up on various other occasions to play while hurt.  I won’t bring up Isiah Thomas’s foot injury in the playoffs again, but clearly Jordan feels he’s the only player in the game to have played under adverse conditions.

            6. After just about twenty minutes of bitterness, Jordan finally addressed his children and, only by association, his ex-wife.

            7. Next, Jordan took a potshot at rising ticket prices for the HOF inductions.  He does so by complaining that the $1000 price per ticket was exorbitant because he had so many people to bring in for the event.

            8. He would clearly be remiss not to mention the now infamous “freeze out” in the 1984 All-Star Game.  Allegedly spearheaded by Thomas, several Eastern Conference All-Stars vowed, silently, to not pass Jordan the ball in a passive aggressive show of disapproval of the attention Jordan commanded.  Jordan went on to say that such a tactic really didn’t bother him.

             9. Up next on Jordan’s radar was Hall of Fame coach, Pat Riley.  Author of several scintillating Lakers teams in the ‘80s, Knicks teams in the ‘90s, and, most recently, Heat teams in the ‘00s, Riley and Jordan’s history goes back to Riley’s time with the Knicks during which he publicly proclaimed that he would do whatever he had to to stop Jordan, and MJ felt in necessary to remind Riley that he failed.

             10. After a totally unnecessary and petty shot at former Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy, Jordan reminded people that he would do whatever necessary to win, including “playing a team game,” which begs the question, “what else would he do in a team sport?”

             11. At the end of his now almost 30-minute speech, Jordan saved room for an anecdotal jab at former Jazz player Bryon Russell.  Russell, who was famously cleared out of Jordan’s way during a game winning shot in the 1997 Finals against Utah, commented during Jordan’s retirement that if Jordan ever were to put on a pair of shorts again, Russell would stop him.  Again, Jordan felt his HOF speech was the most appropriate time to remind Russell that he was, in fact, wrong.

             12. Jordan bookended his speech by quipping that he confided in friends that he was going to accept his enshrinement by simply walking to the podium, saying ‘thank you’ and sitting down.  Whether intended as a joke or not, such arrogance seemed all too fitting for “his Airness.”

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             Of course, what was left out of any speech, any interview, and any video montage of Jordan’s career was the sordidness that his astounding talent helped overshadow.  No mention of his admitted gambling addiction, something which ESPN’s Bill Simmons attributes to Jordan’s first retirement by asserting that league commissioner, David Stern, urged Jordan to walk away from the game before he dragged it down with his gambling problem.  No mention of his, by all accounts, absentee parenting (as evidenced by his children being an afterthought in his speech).  No mention of his womanizing and subsequent bribe of $250,000 to keep such an affair quiet.

             Now, I understand that the HOF induction ceremony is no place to air dirty laundry about Jordan.  So why was it so difficult for Jordan to make the same distinction? Ultimately, underneath the veneer he’s worked so hard to establish (and then whore out to any endorsement deal that came down the pike), Jordan is a completely insecure, egomaniacal (yes, they go hand-in-hand) child who just happens to be the greatest basketball player of all time.  After this speech, what he’ll be remembered for most will remain forever blurry.

2 Responses to “MJ Inducted into Hall, Forgets Mirror”

1. Phillippi says:

   09/15/2009 at 3:01 pm

   Jordan is easily one of my favorite players I’ve ever seen play. I know that isn’t out of the ordinary. I do have people I liked more, and lets face it, most of us were able to witness the greatest era of NBA ever! Which is so sad, because NBA is impossible to watch anymore, it is trash. But going back to the point of this Reply…. I will finally agree with Kulak here about Jordan. I have never agreed with you about Jordan. Ever. But this speech was HORRIBLE. Ok, I get that you were cocky when you played and you had a chip on your shoulder. That’s fine, I feel it’s the way you should be when you are a Pro Athelete, if you can back yourself up. When you get inducted to the Hall of Fame and you have that honor that only select players get… Don’t be a dick. Go up there.. Thank everyone, thank your teammates you played with, thank your coaches, thank Nike and Gatorade if you want, I dont care. After you say Thank Yous and I love yous… sit the fuck down. You made yourself look like the biggest asshole ever.
2. THE GAFF says:

   09/14/2009 at 5:21 pm

   I alway liked Jordan. He was the best athlete I have ever seen. This just goes to show you he feels like he is bigger than the game. I would really like to hear what outspoken ex-nba player Charles Barkley has to say.