Loading ...Almost Cool Hairdos
Sieck: The Venus Flytrap (I don’t know what the real name this mess
My hair is speaking. It's saying, "Feed me, Seymour."
would call itself is): Many folks look back on the styles of the 1980s with complete disgust. However, I fondly look back on the period with feelings of great nostalgia, not because things were particularly cool, but because it was a rather innocent time. How else could one explain letting a woman get away with a hairstyle such as this? Girls actually thought it was “rad” to take two cans of Aquanet and tease their hair up to the sky in a stiff, stringy mess of nonsense. I dub it the “venus flytrap” because if one was to stick his or her hand in such hair, it would probably get bitten off. Granted, during the ‘80s everyone was so coked up that no one really noticed, so girls actually still looked hot.
The sad reality, though, is that this is an awful look. In fact, I had to almost think twice about including generic pictures here because I didn’t want to out anyone… almost. Any young lady who leaves the house looking like she has a plant on her head deserves a little ribbing. I also decided to include a picture of an actress showcasing the dreaded flytrap to illustrate just how devastating it can be. Take a look here at Kelly LeBrock from the classic film
"I used to be a model, actually."
Weird Science. Now, without the savage man-eating tresses, LeBrock used to actually be a relatively attractive girl. However, in her biggest movie role she was forced to don a look that screams, “Please scalp me, kill me, feed me up the drug-addled nose of co-star Robert Downey, Jr., never give me another role, and forget I ever existed.” Isn’t that a hefty price to pay for big hair?
Brian: The Bowl Cut. The bowl cut’s beauty, or horror, is in its androgyny. Sported by both genders, though admittedly only during a time in which gender roles are still a little ambiguous, the bowl cut has survived generations of derision, ridicule, and off color humor. Started by the Germans in 1904…oh, wait, that was San Diego. While many ‘dos are fashioned to make a statement about the wearer, the bowl cut takes itself in the opposite direction by exclaiming of its wearer, My parents really don’t care what I look like! I mean they just covered my head with a bowl, like a real bowl you eat out of, and then cut around it! Sadly, roughly 70% of all bowl wearers are forced into some sort of psychological counseling before they reach the age of 15. And, if you’re wondering, the answer is ‘yes’—I’ve already started eyeing various sized bowls for my unborn daughter’s head.
Confused boy? Chic girl? It doesn't matter. It's the bowl cut!
Here are some examples of the "imitation mullet." One can clearly see that it's long hair all over, and combed or gelled back to give the illusion of a real mullet. Very deceiving.
Dave: I’ve seen too much of this lately and I don’t appreciate it: the imitation mullet. As a mullet enthusiast (God, I wish I could grow one of these), I pay attention to and give much credit to every mullet I see. However, the imitation mullet has started to rear its filthy head. Everyone knows a real mullet is long in the back, short in the front, tight on the sides (a haircut best described as “business-casual”), but this imitation mullet defies those rules. It’s not business in the front and a party in the back – it’s a party all over. The hair is long in the back AND in front AND on the sides; it just gets combed – or gelled – into the rest of the hair to create one flowing piece of mullet. No, no, no. This is like underage kids trying to get into the bar by “blending in” with the rest of the 21-year-olds. Unacceptable. The mullet is a symbol of life based on how we have to balance business with pleasure…it can’t all be one party. This haircut is a disgrace to true mullets everywhere and I don’t like it. However, it makes the almost cool hair-do’s list for one simple reason: even though I don’t like it, it’s still a form of the mullet and I have to respect it.
Here are a few of the newer styles, but mullets none-the-less. To the right is the more traditional mullet, and the beard is just the cherry on top my freinds.
Aww, look we all know Robert Downey Jr. has had his run with drugs and alcohol, but the bottom line is that he’s a fantastic actor – but aside from that, excellent article, very valid points you have there.
How is the “flowcut” or whatever else they name it not on here? I mean how awesome is a group of Gottis going to a club, with a ever so sharp spike with a fade starting somehow under their ears. They make me sick. And I hope they die. There… I said it.
If you’re going to talk about the mullet, you got to go with the Jew-fro mullet, best exemplified by the late, great Lyle Alzado, well at least when he still had hair.
I must say that the hairstyles of the 80s are not terrible, but by all means not great either. I know the purpose of a blog is to have an opinion for one side or the other, but I had the bowl cut in the 80s (even though I was, at my oldest age, 4 in the 80s). The best is that you see some people with the big hair in the 2000s. Its time for a reality check people. That style was cool in the 80s, certainly not now. I’m thinking reality show…
My brother and cousin both had a bowl cut. I’m pretty sure they actually went to a salon and got it done, which is even worse. I’m very thankful to be a late 80’s baby. Although, I did have a very colorful wardrobe.