“I think I may have made a mistake trading away Cliff Lee” said Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. to himself as he ended the phone call with Houston Astros GM Ed Wade.  Lee, currently the ace of the Rangers staff, left a void in Philly that Amaro Jr. finally realized needed to be filled – so he called his old friend Ed Wade.  Wade, a former Phillies GM, was all too familiar with the feeling, and perhaps he was sympathetic to Amaro Jr.’s plight, which may help explain why the Phillies just landed the deal they did.

"Hey, I'm sorry about Cliff. I hope you understand why I did it...anyway, does that make up for it? Are we cool?"

The Phightin’s sent away young, stud-pitcher J.A. Happ (a runner-up for Rookie of the Year last season) and two prospects to the Astros for Houston ace Roy Oswalt (and some cash to help pay for Roy’s hefty contract).  While Amaro Jr. didn’t actually say it, this move might as well have been a public apology to Phillies fan who mourned the inexplicable loss of Cliff Lee.

Now first let me say I love the move – you did good, Rub.  It brings another team’s proven ace to be the Phillies number three pitcher in the rotation for almost nothing.  Not only that, but they managed to lock him up through next season (if they should pick up Oswalt’s option).  Happ is solid, don’t get me wrong, but I’d take Oswalt over him any day of the week – and the other two guys, outfielder Anthony Gose and shortstop Jonathan Villar, I have never heard of (so they can’t be that big of a deal to the Phillies).

Apparently the Astros agree since they have already traded Gose to the Blue Jays for first baseman Brett Wallace.  I just thought it was rather amusing that Amaro Jr. would give up prospects to get Cliff Lee, and then give up even more prospects to get Roy Halladay (great move).  Then turn around and trade Lee to get back some prospects, only to trade more prospects to get Roy Oswalt.  I just think he should come right out at the press conference and say “Hey, Phillies fans, I know I made a mistake, does this make up for it?” and shake Oswalt’s hand while he hands him a uniform.

"God...I gotta get outta Houston, I can't take this anymore."

I will give him this though, the whole time he has been wheelin’-and-dealin’ players and prospects like baseball cards, he never gave up outfielder Domonic Brown – and after watching his debut the other night against the D’backs (2-3 with 2 RBI and 2 R), I can clearly see why.  Smart decision.

Now, how about we discuss some wrong decisions?  Redskin’s D-Tackle/D-End/Pudgy-Cry-Baby Albert Haynesworth finally decided it was time to come to camp and give this whole playing football thing another try.  New Redskins coach Mike Shanahan was happy to have him back, but just wanted to make sure he was prepared mentally and physically.  Haynesworth passed the mental test, agreeing to buy into the system as long as he would get a shot at playing the D-End position.  The physical test, however, well that was a different story.

The over-paid – and overweight – Haynesworth could only complete two parts of the three part fitness test (despite losing 40 lbs).  Players and coaches were treated to a display of Haynesworth’s physical prowess as he completed one of the 300-yard shuttle sprints, barely finished the second, and ended up walking the third.  Believe me, I understand how difficult that must have been – especially for a D-Lineman, but come on.  You’re a pro athlete, a pro football player; physical fitness is kind of required and should be pretty high on your “To-Do” list.

"You want to me run what!?! Nah, I can't do that right now - cut me a break, man." (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

The big fella’ was already in Shanahan’s dog-house for pretty much calling out the team and then not showing up to any voluntary workouts.  However, Shanahan was willing to give him a shot and put him with the backups, let him learn the new system, and then work his way up – if he could simply pass a fitness test.  It was tough, but he couldn’t.  I guess that’s what a seven-year, $100 million deal will do to you.  Why workout when you can simply dominate in Madden 2011, playing as yourself, while you lie on the bed eating Funyuns and drinking birch beer in one of the 19 bedrooms you have in one of your six houses?

How ‘bout them Cowboys?  They never cease to amaze me.  This past weekend Dallas Cowboys rookie WR Dez Bryant made some headlines in a very bizarre way.  Now, because it was Dallas, ESPN talked about it from every angle – every hour, on the hour – but I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  The former OK State stand-out just flat-out refused to carry fellow WR, and seven-year veteran, Roy Williams’ gear in from practice.

"That guy is here to carry pads, not me. I'm Dez Bryant!" (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)

I didn’t get this one at all.  Bryant was putting his foot down for rookies in every sport by not participating in such a vile and physically detrimental act?  Nope.  He just didn’t want to take part in something so little and shameless (and really harmless when compared to other teams and their rituals), because he is above that.  Most teams tape rookies to goal posts, shave heads, or make them fetch absurd food requests from distant lands.  Instead, all Bryant was forced to do was a chore.  Grow up, Dez.

Then I saw his comments about being pretty sure he was drafted to “catch passes, not carry pads.”  Oh, that’s right.  Just like when he was given a scholarship to play football at Oklahoma State…until his junior season when he got kicked out of college football.  I’m sure OK State understood then, and Roy Williams and the rest of your teammates (who don’t know or trust you yet) will understand now.

I don’t know who this guy thinks he is.  He has gone from a beast WR to just an idiot with talent (unproven at the NFL level).  I even considered the fact that maybe he saw Roy Williams as his competition and he didn’t want to carry his pads, as if it would give Roy some psychological edge or make the team think that Bryant wasn’t “keepin’ it real,” but it just doesn’t add up.  All you have to do is carry a veteran’s pads! C’mon Dez.  Williams did the same thing when he was a rookie, and some rookie will do it for you.  Bottom line, it’s still a teammate and apparently it’s tradition down there in Dallas, so shut up and carry the pads.

"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon...you know, cause I've worked for a lot of teams, and I tell you, people do that all the time."

And speaking of not thinking, good ol’ Lane Kiffin was back in the news this week.  The new USC coach decided that the best thing to do after being smacked in the face with NCAA suspensions and Bowl game sanctions was to go ahead and do something illegal…again.  Kiffin poached Titans RB coach Kennedy Pola from Tennessee by violating the terms of Pola’s contract.  Kiffin assumed that a clause requiring any organization receive written permission to discuss a job with Pola, meant just hire him and see what happens.  Kiffin didn’t even think a phone call was necessary.  I guess he is going to ride this job out until some other major college football program offers him a ridiculous amount of money for no apparent reason.

Apparently Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, a former Trojan and a diehard fan, and the Titans organization are filing a lawsuit against the school Fisher loves so much.  This just makes matters even worse for a scandal-ridden university and a coach who has nothing to show for his mega-contract, but the hiring of his much more successful father.

"Hello, yes, is this the OSU admissions office?"

Finally, I leave you with this.  Former college football star, and current idiot, Maurice Clarett is back at THE Ohio State.  After a little more than three years in prison, Clarett has been granted re-entry into OSU and plans to lay low this way he isn’t a “distraction or a nuisance” to the football team.  I bet.  How long do you think it is before he is trying to suit up again, hoping to win an appeal of the current college football rules about turning pro?  It worked out so well for him when he tried to make the rules “one and done” for college football athletes, then sat out a year (after losing that case), and came into Broncos camp looking like a slim D-tackle.  I’m pulling for him though, I certainly hope he graduates – what a real “feel good” story that would be.

Is anyone else extremely bothered by the fact that the NBA off-season is dominating the sports headlines?  I understand that this year’s free-agent class’ decisions will redefine the NBA for the next several years, but do I need it shoved into my face every 15 seconds?  Obviously with big names like Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amar’e Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer and that guard/forward from Cleveland (I just can’t remember his name), every team and fan is going head-over-heels in the hopes of landing at least one of these guys.

"Come play on MY team guys! I have already won a championship."

So I guess my first problem would be that coverage for this started immediately after the Lakers defeated the Celtics in the championship.  Unless you lived in L.A., the analysis of the NBA free-agent period began during the Lakers locker-room celebration.  I mean I didn’t mind (I despise the Lakers), but I don’t need someone reporting on how LeBron James, D-Wade, and Chris Bosh are all friends or what they are doing every single minute of every single day.

For all those people who complain about the NFL Draft coverage: this puts that to shame.  ESPN had mock signings, former coaches breaking down how it would work if certain players went to certain teams, video game demonstrations of how successful those teams would be, former GMs showing how those teams would have to balance out their salaries, and fan-reactions if certain players were acquired by their beloved team.

Give me a break.  Finally the day came when these players actually could sign with a team, and the picture became a bit clearer.  Wade and Bosh are teaming up in Miami; Boozer is headed to the Bulls, and Stoudemire is on his way to the Knicks.  This was news; I didn’t have any problems with this being broadcast all over the sports nation.  However, I did find it a little odd that every player had to deal with the “Are you planning on reaching out to LeBron James?” question about two questions into their respective interviews.

Then came the real head-scratcher.   ESPN agreed to run a 3-hour SportsCenter edition including an hour-long segment at the end entitled “The Decision,” which would be dedicated to LBJ’s free-agent decision (at LeBron’s request, in the name of charity though…of course).  I never thought ESPN could top “Favre-Watch” (which aired every day, two years ago during the NFL off-season), but they found a way with this.

"Please don't make me have to play in Cleveland...PLEASE!"

Now, I understand that James came to ESPN with the idea and they jumped all over it (because that is what a sports station should do), but how in love with yourself do you have to be to plan an hour long segment on national TV for two or three words? And then give it a dramatic title too?  How much of an ego-stroke is it to have your free-agent signing decision scheduled?  Not like a mandatory signing-day or an announcement—a set time and place, and then turn it into a show.  I remember when Jordan decided to come back and he announced it by simply stating, “I’m back.”  Or, if you want to make an argument about how technology has changed the way the sports world is reported on, how about tweeting about it like Kevin Durant just did about his extension?  I know he knows all about Twitter (thanks to ESPN and its keen reporting skills alerting me that James recently opened a Twitter account).

Which brings me to my final point: when did LeBron get to the status that would warrant such coverage?  I know he is an NBA freak – arguably the best there is – but how many championships has “The Chosen One” racked up in the seven years he has been playing?  The guy is great, don’t get me wrong, but he has done nothing except prove he is an amazing individual.  He has no team accolades and the team is supposed to be what this is all about.

Not only that, but he has no real option that should warrant that sort of coverage.  If he decided to come to Miami and join Wade and Bosh, it was be ridiculous.  Three superstars uniting to achieve one goal: a championship.  However, he would always be remembered as the greatest basketball player ever who NEEDED other superstars to win a title.  Sure Jordan had Pippen, Rodman and the rest of that awesome team, but there was only one “Jordan” on that squad, not two.  New Jersey and New York (even with the recent addition of Stoudemire) both stink.  They have plenty of money, but zero talent and there are only so many free agents this season to choose from.  So they are both rebuilding projects and he would be entering the same situation – or worse – than he was walking away from in Cleveland.  If he goes with Boozer to Chicago, he will be LeBron in MJ’s town.  Even if he wins two or three titles, they aren’t taking that Jordan statue down and erecting one of “King James” (and yes, he is that vain to let that hinder his decision).

"I WANT YOU to help me win a championship!

Cleveland is his best bet.  They need to make some serious moves this year, and the next two or three, but they have the money to and if he wins there he can be a legend.  So in my opinion, this free-agency thing is a waste of time.  It doesn’t matter where LeBron goes because he won’t have a real shot unless he crosses his fingers and prays for help while staying in Cleveland.  The real story is Wade and Bosh joining forces (because they could easily dominate the East over the next few years), not LeBron and his “decision,” and it takes about 15 minutes to cover it, not two months.

Besides, if these guys really only cared about winning, why didn’t any of them show any interest in playing with Dwight Howard and the Magic?  You know those teams would have gladly re-worked their finances to lock-up one of them.  So please quit wasting my time with all this coverage and analysis over free-agency (especially with LeBron, at least until he wins one…if he ever does)—just feed me baseball highlights and wake me if the Sixers sign one of these guys.

I’d like to take some time now to reflect on the Washington Redskins’ defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth.  Haynesworth is apparently unhappy in Washington and has been more than vocal about it.  He criticized the team’s defense, claiming that it did not allow him the freedom to make plays like he used to in Tennessee.

"I can't wait to cash these checks...I mean play for the Redskins." (Photo by Mitchell Layton/Getty Images)

The Redskins responded by adjusting their defense to a 3-4 scheme – but Albert doesn’t like this either.  His new role as nose-tackle in a 3-4 defense is not as “glamorous” (if you can even use that word to describe a d-tackle) as his old role in Tennessee, where he was one of two d-tackles in a 4-3 defense.

Haynesworth was coming off one of his most unproductive years, and I assume was looking for something – or someone – to blame for that (not himself, of course).  He had 29 tackles, 8 assists, and only four sacks in 2009.  While in 2008 with the Titans, he racked up 41 tackles, 10 assists, and 8.5 sacks.  While the numbers aren’t that far off, it was his presence that was most notably missing.  In 2008 he was a poster-boy for the Titans’ defensive success; this past year he was considered a bust and one of many reasons for the Redskins’ dismal season.

Most teams would be pleased with the numbers Haynesworth put up in 2008 or 2009, except most teams aren’t the Redskins and did not sign him to a 7-year $100 million contract.  The team, under new management and leadership (in new GM Bruce Allen and new head coach Mike Shanahan), decided to offer Haynesworth a release from his contract as long as he paid them back $21 million in bonus money.  Haynesworth rejected that notion, and instead thought it was much more professional to just not come to mandatory minicamp and demand a trade.

"I was just trying to help him up! You throw that flag and you're next!"

There have been some rumors that the Redskins could be shipping him out to Minnesota or even New Orleans, but it is all speculation.  It’s hard to imagine a team that really needs him; especially for that price and the baggage he comes with.  Let us not forget that this sterling example of the word professional also stepped on Dallas’ center Andre Gurode’s face (click here in case you forgot about that) – but later claimed he wasn’t a dirty player.  Of course…clean, respectable players make the mistake of purposefully, physically harming opponents all the time.

He is supposedly going to attend training camp, but the damage is already done and I don’t see how it can work in Washington after he has divided his locker room with this little tantrum.  I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just accept the buyout and go elsewhere.  Sure he wouldn’t get as much, but he would be happier, probably have a better shot of winning, and would save some face.  I don’t know how many supporters he thinks he has with that contract he signed, but let me tell you this: if a team offered me that contract to have their QB warm-up by slinging footballs at my crotch before practices and games, I would sign it with a smile and be the first one in that building and the last one to leave.

I know it’s been awhile, but I cannot let the travesty that is the 2010 NFL Draft go on without commenting on it.  The NFL has managed to take a great thing, butcher it, and then try and spoon-feed it to the general public in small doses.

"Yeah! OK guys, same time tomorrow for round two?"

First, the whole idea of spreading it out over three days in horrendous – it takes all the excitement out of Draft Day.  Teams don’t have to meet in “The War Room” and make snap decisions on who to take after the guy they wanted gets grabbed up by another team.  No more spur-of-the-moment trades that leave fans (Eagles) puzzled. With this new format, all a team has to do is make one pick (or two if they are really lucky/pathetic) and that’s it…the day is over.  They get a full 24 hours to reconsider what they want to do, negotiate potential trades, and eye-up new candidates.

Second, they picked the worst Draft Class to experiment with.  There are about two or three “Big Name” guys, and the most talked about players are a QB who missed his senior season and another who might as well not have had one.

Think about it.  What other Draft Class featured the “Best QB” and potential “First Overall Pick” as a guy who missed almost his entire senior season and is coming off shoulder surgery?  Nothing against Sam Bradford, and he could turn out to be great, but that is the best QB out there?  What does that say about all the other guys?  And Tim Tebow…that kid went from College Football Savior to NFL Joke inside three short months.  I wish him the best, but again, what does it say about the 2010 Draft Class if these two guys are headlining it?  I know there are other great athletes out there (Eric Berry, Ndamukong Suh, Dez Bryant, C.J. Spiller, etc.), but face it, none of them have received as much hype as Bradford and Tebow have all off-season.

"Thanks for all of your support - maybe I'll take off next season and see if I can win an NFL MVP award."

Finally, the attempt to oversell the Draft by NFL and ESPN is nauseating.  Never before has there been so many possible “Big Name” trades taking place during draft day.  They are convincing fans to watch all three days because you never know when Ben Roethlisberger might get traded, or the Redskins might sign T.O. and reunite him with Donovan McNabb, or all the rumors about every team, after the number 10 spot, trading up to get certain players.  That marketing genius was topped off by ESPN running the TOP 10 Best Late-Round Picks, while both anchors crow-barred in the “You better watch Saturday, who knows when the next Tom Brady will be drafted.”

"I hold a bunch of college football records...but none are as impressive as the record I hold for most stories aired about a throwing motion!"

Maybe it’s because this idea was a failure from the start, so they are doing whatever they can to sell it.  I am sure people will still watch it (I know I will), but now they are competing with the NHL and NBA Playoffs, as well as the MLB.  Going primetime might lose some fans considering that when it was on Saturday at noon, people had nothing else to watch but the first round.  Plus, do they really think anyone is going to watch the final rounds that Saturday?  Maybe a few diehards, but nowhere near as many people that would watch it in the old format, by default, simply because they were on that channel already.

I will still enjoy it, and I know most people will – but my point is, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.  As if the NFL isn’t pulling in enough money they have to break up the Draft into portions to try and make even more.  I just hope next year they don’t spread it over six months, having only select teams draft starting in April and ending at the beginning of the regular season…that’ll really maximize profits, right Roger?

As the NFL season winds down, I am forced to remember all the analysts and friends who couldn’t help but ridicule Brett Favre for coming back – and the Vikings organization for giving him all that time to decide to come back.  One regular season and two weeks into the playoffs later, who is laughing now?

Brett Favre.

No matter what color the uniform, or how old he is, this image of Brett seems to be a constant. (AP Photo/Hannah Foslien)

As a huge Brett Favre fan, I must point out that not only did he throw 33 touchdowns to only 7 interceptions in the regular season, but he only had one multi-pick game (against Arizona when they were embarrassed on Sunday Night Football because their offensive line didn’t make the plane to Tempe).  He didn’t tire out at the end of the year, and despite Adrian Peterson not having big rushing games (because everyone insisted if he had success it would be because A.D. was averaging 400 yards a game), he even managed to take over and dominate a few of these games.  Favre helped his team finish 2^nd in the league in points-per-game, 5^th in total yards, and 8^th in total passing yards.  He made Sidney Rice (whose career was dying in Minnesota) look like the second-coming of Jerry Rice.

However, even after all this success there was still the thought that Favre would choke under the playoff pressure.  So in comes Dallas, arguably the hottest team coming into the playoffs, and what happens?  Favre and

About 90% of the NFL-watching population had no idea who this kid was, until Favre became his quarterback.

the Vikings take them out to the woodshed.  Favre throws for four touchdowns (each more amazing than the previous), zero interceptions, and the Viking defense shut down an over-rated Cowboys O.

I just want to point that out that no matter what happens to the Vikings, whether it be in the next game or in the Super Bowl, Favre has more than proved he is still one of the best.  Maybe it was time for him to go in Green Bay, maybe it wasn’t, but we will never know.  All we have to go on now is the enormous amount of success he is having with the purple and gold…GO VIKINGS!

Moving on to something that I have to comment on…Gilbert Arenas.  For all those people who sat back and thought “Wow, how dumb is Plaxico Burress?” Arenas decided to prove there was someone dumber.  As the story goes, after an argument over unpaid gambling debts with teammate Javaris Crittenton, the two pulled guns on each other.  And if that wasn’t enough, it wasn’t like the two of them were there for a team meeting and snuck them in, oh no, they both had guns (plural) stored in their lockers.  I guess for all the gang violence that takes place at practice?

Are you kidding me?  Arenas claimed that he had brought them from his home to his locker so his children would not find them and play with them.  How noble.  Buy a safe idiot, hide them where your kids can’t reach, put them in a room and lock the door, I mean how many other options are there before you think “I got it! I’ll just bring them to work.”  Imagine a regular person doing that, “Morning Sally, the meeting is still at 10 right? Oh, don’t mind these, I don’t want my kids playing with them.” You would be fired immediately.

Nice Gilbert, way to try and play it all off as a joke. People always pull guns on other people in jest, I could see the misunderstanding.

That must have been the same logic Arenas used when he tried to play this whole thing off as a prank. Or perhaps when he turned his hands into six-shooters during a pregame “dance” before they played the Sixers, to show how much of jokester he is.  As you can imagine, NBA Commissioner David Stern took action, suspending Arenas indefinitely.  Then the legal department stepped in, and Arenas now has to wait until March to find out what kind of sentencing he will receive.  NBA commissioner David Stern has yet to make a decision on what will happen to Arenas after his sentencing (hopefully his career is done).  The team is left scrambling for an answer, but they are just as guilty as he is in my eyes.

Get this: the Wizards organization said they had known about the guns in his locker – apparently he had informed them about the guns when he first brought them in – and they “never thought something like this would come of it.”  Really? I would love to hear them describe the situations that they thought might arise from having firearms in a locker room.  As if the NBA couldn’t be any worse (or more out of control) they decide a good P.R. move would be to let athletes have guns in their lockers?  This way fans get more of a “Beirut circa 1975” feeling when they come to games.

As another College Football Bowl Week kicks off, the talk about how college football needs a playoff system starts right along with it.  This year, it isn’t as bad.  All the teams that should be playing in BCS games are, but that doesn’t stop people from demanding College Football switch over to a playoff system – and I couldn’t disagree more.  Now, let me start by saying that I would love nothing more than to see teams like Alabama and Florida play teams like TCU or Boise State, but a playoff is not the answer.

TCU played teams from a BCS conference this year (and lucked out by beating BYU, who beat Oklahoma in week 1) and they were rewarded with a BCS Bowl Game.

First, it ruins the tradition of the college football regular season.  College football has the best regular season in all of sports because – unlike any other sport – every single game matters.  No other sport can offer that.  Sure some regular season games matter, but – demonstrated by last year’s NFL playoffs – teams can lose up to seven games and still have a shot to make the playoffs, or the Super Bowl…that doesn’t sound like every game matters to me.   That’s what makes college football so exciting; every weekend there is a big game that a team – pursuing a National Championship – cannot afford to lose.

With that being said, let me move on to why the fans have every right to complain – but the teams don’t.  First, win every game on the schedule.  If a team has one loss, then that is the reason you will probably not play for a National Title.  However, there are plenty of one-loss teams that have played, or been in contention to play, for a National Title over the years.  Which brings me to next point…scheduling.  If a team like Utah, or Boise State, has a problem with their Non-BCS conference schedule failing to provide them with a BCS Bowl bid, they should use their non-conference openings to schedule BCS opponents.  Every team has up to four non-conference games they can schedule, so if I am a coach at Utah, I would try and schedule at least two of those four slots against BCS conference opponents (and decent ones too).  That clearly paid off for TCU and Boise State this year – both played some BCS conference teams and now they are playing each other in a BCS bowl.  Now if they want to compete for a chance to play in the National Championship, then they need to schedule some even tougher opponents in those slots (i.e. Texas, Oklahoma, Alabama, LSU, Florida).

The Crimson Tide's hard work finally paid off, as they won the toughest conference in College Football and will play Texas for a National Championship.

This doesn’t just go for non-BCS conference teams, but every college football team.  I have always wondered why teams like Florida wouldn’t play teams like Texas in the regular season.  The obvious reason would be they might lose, and then their season is done from Week 2 and on…but teams have done that and still been in contention for a National Championship (i.e. Ohio State vs. USC).  That game is a non-conference game and possibly the best one in the entire season (next to Florida State vs. Florida…up until recently).  Personally, I think that would make a college football season that much more exciting and would go a long way in somewhat fulfilling the public’s desire to see a college football playoff.

In closing, a college playoff will probably never happen (even though it would be fantastic to watch) for several reasons.  The tradition of the college football regular season, the length of that same season (with playoff games added on top of that), and finally – and most importantly– the amount of money they make off the BCS system.  Despite how exciting March Madness is, it does not make anywhere near the amount of money that a bowl system does.  So unfortunately for the avid college football fan, no matter how many schools and fans complain, money will always outlast their grievances.

It’s that time of year again boys and girls.  The time of caring, sharing, giving and receiving.  It’s also the time of year to expose poster-boy athletes, use sex to recruit, and finally, come back home where you belong…

Sure it's a joke, but it's not too far off from what this whole scandal has done to his golden-boy image.

We start with Tiger Woods.  There isn’t much to say about this other than “wow.”  Who would have thought that precious, golden-boy Tiger would be cheating on his wife with – not one – but nine women.  It was so bad that one of his first mistresses couldn’t even handle it, confessing that she couldn’t take how many women he was seeing at the same time (yea, tough break, imagine how his wife must feel).  The only thing worse than this is having your wife beat you up with a golf club (which defines irony) so bad that when you go to run away from her in your SUV, you crash onto your neighbor’s lawn…nice.  Of course Tiger has yet to actually speak on the matter, so all that is speculation, but the longer he waits to finally come out and talk, the worse this story is going to get.  Do yourself a favor, Tiger, confess and move on – it worked for Kobe, it worked for A-Rod, it’ll work for you.

We move along to a much more heart-warming story…for me at least. Allen Iverson returned to the Sixers this past week, and debuted this past Monday against the Nuggets.  Sure it was a losing effort, and A.I. isn’t the same as he used to be, but there is something about seeing that ol’ #3 run around that court that just scratches me

I almost wept like a 6-year-old girl when I saw this intro. (Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images)

right where I itch.  After watching his second game against the Pistons, I thought to myself how everyone must be enjoying this, except Andre Iguodala.  Here is a guy who was told the Sixers were his team, that he is the new A.I. and that Philly is now his city.  Well so much for that.  Iguodala and the rest of the Sixers were lucky if four fans and a homeless man (strictly there for the running water and heat) came to watch their games.  Since “the Answer” has returned, two back-to-back sellouts.  That has to sting a little.  Finally, for all those who don’t like this move because Iverson could be a bad influence…you are idiots.  This team stinks and there is no future here for A.I. to corrupt – at least now we get to watch some close-to-decent basketball being played while Iverson – who certainly is not the same caliber player he left Philly as – shows everyone what he has left.

On to college football.  How bout that Lane Kiffin?  His first full year at Tennessee results in a winning season, no SEC Title, no major bowl bid, and no quality wins.  Yet somehow Lane has managed to make Tennessee the most talked about program in all of college football.  He has been caught committing six secondary NCAA violations, and is currently being investigating for the best one of them all – using sex to recruit.

"What can I say gentlemen...sex sells!"

Apparently, the Volunteers coach was not only using females to ensure his recruits had a good visit on campus (like all colleges do, everyone who has seen the movie He Got Game knows how that works), but Kiffin made sure his recruits kept Tennessee in mind when they were at home.  The story goes that he would send certain women “Volunteers” to travel to players’ home towns to watch them play and help “convince” them to come to Ole Rocky Top.  Some of these girls – now being referred to as “hostesses” – would travel as far as 200 miles to help Lane recruit.  Again, all hearsay, but this one looks to be true and the only thing that is missing is a Lane Kiffin apology and some photos of what these women look like to complete this wonderful, wholesome college football story.

As I watched countless episodes of SportsCenter this past week, there were a few things that caught my attention and that warrant some comments.  First, Sammy Sosa. Wow.  What the hell happened to him?  The guy goes on record and admits he took steroids, which taints his career, but you have to figure that is rock bottom.

Oh no, Sosa found a way to even top cheating in the sport he played.  He bleached himself.  Sosa claimed his skin was feeling old and needed some “rejuvenation,” so he started bleaching his skin? To quote this Michael Jackson wannabe, “It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed…I use it to soften my skin, but has bleached me some,” he admitted.  Some!?! He resembles a Dominican-version of the kid who starred in Powder.

This doesn't even look like the same person. I guess "bleached me some" and "completely different" mean the same thing to Sammy.

What about taking vitamin D? Or rubbing some lotion on your skin? Then, Sosa managed to top that by adding green eyes to his new faded white skin.  What are you doing, Sosa? You went from being a super-slugger to a reject in the cast of Twilight.  He is now a faded has-been – literally – who just realized that he could buy contacts that change the color of his eye.  When I saw this, I was legitimately scared.  I am surprised there weren’t any stories about someone at the Latin Grammys just dropping their jaw, screaming, and running out because Sosa smiled at them.

Switching gears from complete stupidity to utter stupidity, we move to the Tennessee Volunteers.  Three of first-year head coach Lane Kiffin’s highly touted recruits were charged with attempted armed robbery.

Apparently, Janzen Jackson, a starting safety, and Nu’Keese Richardson, a starting wide-receiver, were among four people who decided a great Wednesday evening activity would be robbing a convenience store.  Defensive back Mike Edwards, and their “Wheel-man” Marie Montmarquet – a 22-year-old female – were charged with three counts of armed robbery at a gas station.

They held up three people in a parked car at gun-point while wearing masks.  The victims got the make and model of the car, a Toyota Prius, and get this – one of them was wearing Tennessee football gear and a victim caught a glimpse of it (apparently they had on either shorts or a t-shirt with the Tennessee football logo on it), the police haven’t said what it was yet).  When the police finally caught the suspects, they located the hoodies and masks, and an air-powered pellet gun (nice touch gentlemen).

"It was exciting holding those men at gun-point, I think next time though, we shouldn't wear our jerseys out to rob people." (AP Photo/Wade Payne)

So let me get this straight.  You get a full-scholarship to play football at the University of Tennessee – a program that is on the up-and-up right now – and you have a shot to play pro-football if you make the best of your time at this university (which is all free by the way), and you decide that’s not enough?  No, no, no, a better path is driving around in your “girlfriend’s” Prius and robbing people at gun point for what? $75-$100 at best?

Yeah, you won’t ever make that much in the NFL, or receive that as an allowance thanks to your free ride at Tennessee.  Even better, do all this while you’re wearing Tennessee football gear, great plan.  I read this and just thought to myself, “How dumb can you be?” I don’t by any means condone this plan, but if you are going to go through with this poorly thought-out scheme, and you have the ski mask on as well, wouldn’t taking off your Volunteers football gear be the next step?  I could only imagine the two of them wearing their jerseys and ski masks thinking “Let’s rob these people, they will never know who it is.”

As a lifelong Kansas City Chiefs fan, I feel I have a responsibility to comment on the recent actions of our “star” running back Larry Johnson.  After a tough loss against division foe San Diego, L.J. decided it was necessary to spout off about his current situation, which is the following: He is stuck on a bad team, not getting the touches he thinks he deserves, and losing all the while.

"People can barely remember that I used to be good...let me go spit on someone to remind them who I am." (AP Photo/Dick Whipple, File)

Johnson decided the best way to vent his frustrations would be to verbally assault members of the media, his coaching staff, and the organization by using a gay slur.  He especially targeted new coach Todd Haley, claiming that he wasn’t a good coach and didn’t know how to use him (correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t Haley the only reason Johnson still had a job? Because no one would have taken him after the two years he just got done having).  L.J. also mentioned how his dad playing on the Titans team from the movie Remember the Titans, and those people knew how to coach football – which implied that his new coach didn’t.

Now, let me make it clear that while I am a Chiefs fan, I am also an NFL fan…so I am not ignorant.  I know I am a fan of a bad team, we are rebuilding (and have been for quite some time), and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be a “star” and be stuck on that team (I felt bad for Tony Gonzalez before he got traded to Atlanta).  However, that does not give anyone the right to critique that situation, especially when he is a big part of it.  Todd Haley and I may not know as much the members of that team from Remember the Titans, but we both know that L.J. stinks – and we will be lucky to get anything in return for him if we trade him…on the other hand, Johnson will be lucky if he can still find a job in football after this mess is done.

Larry wants his touches, but when he gets them, he doesn’t do anything with them.  He hasn’t had a solid, injury-free-season, since 2006.  Now, one can easily argue that he hasn’t had a good team since 2006 (no O-line, and the loss of fullback Tony Richardson didn’t help either).  In my opinion, he is done; he has nothing left, maybe one solid year left.  He is now 29-years-old and isn’t getting any younger.  Couple that with the fact that he is a problem off the field (spitting on and accosting women at clubs, openly criticizing the organization, and – recently added – using gay slurs to describe media members as well as his new coach).

"Why can't we be as good as everyone says we are?"

On a side note, USC got smashed by Oregon.  The Trojans, who the BCS computers had sitting pretty at #5 (even with one loss to a then, and currently, unranked Washington Huskies team) – and people (Kirk Herbstreit and EPSN analysts) still had them playing in a National Championship.  Unfortunately, USC had to play Oregon (then #10 in the BCS), at Oregon, and got beat down 47-20 (and the Ducks only allowed the Trojans to score three points in the second half).

All this game did was prove me right, and show the country (yet again) that USC is overrated and should not be involved in National Championship talks until they beat a BCS opponent that isn’t Ohio State or from the PAC 10.  Oregon, a team who got beat by Boise State – now #7 in the BCS – and also managed to lose their “star” running back at the end of that game, managed to destroy the mighty Trojans and hand them their worse loss ever under head coach Pete Carroll.  How they manage to only fall to #12 in the BCS only proves my point – they get favored.  They should at least have fallen out of the top 15 with a loss to Oregon and unranked Washington.

But enough of harping on USC, because to be honest, every team looks overrated so far this season.  Alabama looks solid, but the two teams ahead of them – Florida and Texas – both look inconsistent.  With all the frauds this season, I am routing for Iowa…any team that has a QB who throws five picks and can still win (and manage to make that game look like a blowout) gets my support.