With almost half of the NFL season in the books, I want to take the time to discuss one of the biggest mistakes that I have ever made in my life.  A mistake that recently came to my attention over the course of the last six weeks.  A mistake so large that it has tormented me every Sunday and every other Monday night.  The dreadful mistake that I’m talking about is getting involved in a fantasy football league…obviously.

I was warned by many not to get involved.  I was told it’s a waste of time, that it will make you root against your own team, and that you can’t enjoy the games because you’re always checking the computer.

Such warnings I ignored and proceeded to sign up for, not one, but four fantasy football leagues this year…and trust me, I’ve learned my lesson.  So with that in mind, I give you the six things that I have learned from the first six weeks of playing fantasy football.

The biggest sign I ignored was probably the fact that the best "action" pose that McFarlane could get for their LT figurine was of this.

1. LaDainian Tomlinson hates me: Maybe it was all the preseason hype. Everybody saying, ”Oh yea, LT is completely healthy, he’s been working out like he used to.” On ESPN they’ve got the segment on him running up hills, and talking about how last year was a fluke and he hasn’t lost it yet. I just got sucked in and I went for it. I swear if I ever see any of these people on the street I am punching them square in the face, no questions asked. I don’t care what happens afterward but for at least that second there I will feel so much better. So I go and use my first round-pick believing that things would change.  I could have had Drew Brees, or Tom Brady, or even taken Wes Welker who was hurt for the first three games of the season.

So, by the end of the first quarter against the Raiders, I was already regretting drafting him. I can really only blame myself, I guess all the signs were there. Honestly when they talked about him working out, I couldn’t help but to think about those Youtube videos with him and Kimbo Slice.  The one where he’s bench-pressing air conditioners and boxing refrigerators.

2. Online drafts with auto-pick are the workings of the devil: I know it’s made for convenience and all, but if you’re doing fantasy football you really should be there for the draft. In my case, 2.5 of the four leagues I’m in ended up being auto-picked for me because either: A. It wouldn’t let me sign-in or B. I just missed it. And each time I ended up with half my team being running backs or wide receivers. I actually got Jason Campbell because of that crap. And nobody in their right mind is taking him as a free agent, let alone in a trade. Speaking of which…

3. People refuse to make trades unless it is completely in their favor: Here are the only trade offers that I have received since the start of the season (and most of these have come in the one league I’m actually doing well in). An injured Calvin Johnson for a coming-into-his-own Brandon Marshall.  Or T.O. and Tim Hightower for Marques Colston. Or how about Brian Westbrook for Cedric Benson.  And the one that just insults my intelligence which is Larry Johnson and Devin Thomas for Adrian Peterson? Really? And every trade that I have offered has been either ignored or declined. MAKE A MOVE DAMN IT!!

Davis had 7 receptions for 93 yards and 3 TD's while keeping my bench warm...I just can't win.

4. Matt Forte hates me too.

5. Without fail, I always seem to make the wrong decision about who to play: The biggest problem that I’ve run into week after week is struggling to choose between starting Kellen Winslow or Vernon Davis. No matter which one I play, the other one sits on my bench and scores 20 plus points. I don’t think I’ve gotten this right once all season long. This week I played Winslow and sat Davis only to watch him pick up three touchdowns in the second half, which then left me to have to watch last night’s game hoping the Eagles don’t kick any field goals because I’m only up nine points (and I should have been up 36). This actually brings me to my 6th and final point and probably the biggest reason I hate fantasy football.

6. I really feel like an A-hole watching these games: Allow me to explain. First and foremost, I’ve found myself rooting against my own team. Ochocinco, Benson, and Carson Palmer are all on at least one, or more, of my teams. So, since I am a Bears fan, watching the Bengals destroy them left me quite torn.  I didn’t know whether to celebrate or be mad every time each of them did something good for my fantasy team. I watched the game not knowing who to root for. Here my Bears are getting absolutely slaughtered, but I’m supposed to be happy because these guys are having a big day?

Damn you fantasy football! This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, yet week by week you seem to just not want to allow me to enjoy it. I definitely won’t be doing this again next year. Ok, I‘ll probably only have two teams…tops…probably.