As I watched countless episodes of SportsCenter this past week, there were a few things that caught my attention and that warrant some comments.  First, Sammy Sosa. Wow.  What the hell happened to him?  The guy goes on record and admits he took steroids, which taints his career, but you have to figure that is rock bottom.

Oh no, Sosa found a way to even top cheating in the sport he played.  He bleached himself.  Sosa claimed his skin was feeling old and needed some “rejuvenation,” so he started bleaching his skin? To quote this Michael Jackson wannabe, “It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed…I use it to soften my skin, but has bleached me some,” he admitted.  Some!?! He resembles a Dominican-version of the kid who starred in Powder.

This doesn't even look like the same person. I guess "bleached me some" and "completely different" mean the same thing to Sammy.

What about taking vitamin D? Or rubbing some lotion on your skin? Then, Sosa managed to top that by adding green eyes to his new faded white skin.  What are you doing, Sosa? You went from being a super-slugger to a reject in the cast of Twilight.  He is now a faded has-been – literally – who just realized that he could buy contacts that change the color of his eye.  When I saw this, I was legitimately scared.  I am surprised there weren’t any stories about someone at the Latin Grammys just dropping their jaw, screaming, and running out because Sosa smiled at them.

Switching gears from complete stupidity to utter stupidity, we move to the Tennessee Volunteers.  Three of first-year head coach Lane Kiffin’s highly touted recruits were charged with attempted armed robbery.

Apparently, Janzen Jackson, a starting safety, and Nu’Keese Richardson, a starting wide-receiver, were among four people who decided a great Wednesday evening activity would be robbing a convenience store.  Defensive back Mike Edwards, and their “Wheel-man” Marie Montmarquet – a 22-year-old female – were charged with three counts of armed robbery at a gas station.

They held up three people in a parked car at gun-point while wearing masks.  The victims got the make and model of the car, a Toyota Prius, and get this – one of them was wearing Tennessee football gear and a victim caught a glimpse of it (apparently they had on either shorts or a t-shirt with the Tennessee football logo on it), the police haven’t said what it was yet).  When the police finally caught the suspects, they located the hoodies and masks, and an air-powered pellet gun (nice touch gentlemen).

"It was exciting holding those men at gun-point, I think next time though, we shouldn't wear our jerseys out to rob people." (AP Photo/Wade Payne)

So let me get this straight.  You get a full-scholarship to play football at the University of Tennessee – a program that is on the up-and-up right now – and you have a shot to play pro-football if you make the best of your time at this university (which is all free by the way), and you decide that’s not enough?  No, no, no, a better path is driving around in your “girlfriend’s” Prius and robbing people at gun point for what? $75-$100 at best?

Yeah, you won’t ever make that much in the NFL, or receive that as an allowance thanks to your free ride at Tennessee.  Even better, do all this while you’re wearing Tennessee football gear, great plan.  I read this and just thought to myself, “How dumb can you be?” I don’t by any means condone this plan, but if you are going to go through with this poorly thought-out scheme, and you have the ski mask on as well, wouldn’t taking off your Volunteers football gear be the next step?  I could only imagine the two of them wearing their jerseys and ski masks thinking “Let’s rob these people, they will never know who it is.”

Everybody wants to talk about Manny Ramirez leaving that crucial Game 4 of the NLCS early to shower when he was replaced by Juan Pierre.  There were rumors about “Manny being Manny,” about how he doesn’t care about anybody but himself, and about how unfair it is for Dodger manager Joe Torre to have to deal with this.

"Here's to me doing nothing in the postseason!"

Here’s the thing: first, it’s not that big a deal.  Pitchers do it all the time when they are relieved and no one can be sure that, if the game had not ended, Manny would NOT have come back out.  Fortunately for this Phillies fan…we will never know.

The second thing is that Manny has done something much worse that no one seems to have noticed: He hasn’t been the same since being on his 50-day “vacation” for violating the MLB’s substance abuse policy.  After Manny got busted for steroids (or women’s fertility drugs) he simply hasn’t been the same.  I know there are some people who will argue that he is getting old, or that missing those 50 games hurt him as far as getting into the swing of things – but the numbers do not lie.

This year Manny finished with a .290 batting average, 63 RBI and just 19 home runs.   That’s the worst Manny has done since his second year in the majors at Cleveland (when he ended with an average of .269 and 17 homers).  So maybe he had an off year, but the whole point of having Manny is his power and run-production, especially in the postseason.

So in this year’s NLDS and NLCS, Manny should have been a big factor for the Dodgers, right? In eight games Manny posted the following: a .281 average, four RBI, and one HR.  Narrow that down even further to just the NLCS against the Phillies, and he went .263 with only two RBI in 19 at-bats.

So who cares if Manny is leaving a game early to shower? Dodgers fans should be concerned about what Manny is doing before that shower…not hitting or driving in runs.  The “slugger” is supposed to be worth all the headaches and distractions off the field because of his performance on the field.  That hasn’t been the case ever since Manny had to get off the juice.  Even if the thirty-seven-year-old’s age is a factor, it is a little ironic that his career suddenly starts to fade out right after he gets caught using illegal substances.

"Nice job Manny...way to fail when we needed you most."

Even if Manny comes back and has a huge year for the Dodgers – the team that is suddenly regretting signing him to that long and expensive a contract – critics still was raise the question, “is he on the juice again?” Too big a coincidence on too big a stage for it to be ignored because everyone wants to focus on Manny showering – after he had been yanked – before a game is over.

            Rockies at Phillies

            With some playoff history in their very recent rear view mirror, these two teams will try to summon the ghosts of playoffs past.  For the Rox, their ascension to post season relevance is nearly as remarkable as their historic September of 2007 when they went berserk and stormed into the playoffs on the way to a first round sweep of the Phils.  The defending world f@*king champs, who admittedly lost some of their swagger in the final week of the season, aren’t looking as far back as Colorado, instead focusing on last year’s relatively easy run to the crown.

Without last year's swagger, this scene may not be 'repeated.'

            So, who do we like?

            Why the Phils will win

            It’s hard to overlook what this team did last year, going undefeated at home and losing only three games in the postseason.  Such experience can’t be overvalued, and though the team has some noticeably different parts (Cliff Lee, Raul Ibanez, J Happ), few teams get to boast the bling they earned in baseball’s second season. 

            With a lineup that’s almost video game good on most days, the Phightins’ can pound pitchers from both sides of the plate with a flurry of doubles and dongs.  Couple that with one of the league’s premier defenses, particularly up the middle, and the championship recipe isn’t all that much different than last year’s blend.

            For the Rockies, a young pitching staff that is a bit banged up could cause itself problems, and while the lineup does feature a first ballot Hall of Famer in 1B Todd Helton and a young stud SS in Troy Tulowitzki, the Phils’ is simply better 1-8.

'Tulo' could have a major say in the NLDS outcome.

            Lastly, despite what critics say about Phils’ skipper Charlie Manuel’s southern drawl and limited vocabulary, he has a knack for getting his guys to play.  While Rox manager Jim Tracy is a lock for NL Manager of the Year for his team’s unprecedented success after his hiring, he lacks what Manuel has.  A ring.

            Why the Rockies will win

            I have to admit that I’m terrified of this series.  The Phils’ 2008 championship was marked by a gutty, gritty approach to a September comeback that seems all too familiar to Mets fans.  They had to play their way in.  They had to get hot at the right time. Their pitching staff, from top to bottom, gelled at the most opportune time.  They had a certain quality I think this year’s version lacks. 

            Perhaps it was leading the division for so long.

            Perhaps it’s the World Series hangover.

            Perhaps it’s complacency.

            Whatever it is, I just don’t like them in this year’s NLDS like I did in last year’s.

            The pitching staff is just beleaguered by injuries and inconsistency right now, and I’ll spare myself a diatribe on the bullpen.  Moreover, when the game one starter isn’t clear cut two days before game one, that’s a problem.

The ghost of playoffs past could haunt Lidge and the Phils.

            The lineup, as I mentioned, is very good, but it also relies far too heavily on the long ball.  Last year’s championship was marked by a lack of production with RISP, a trend that certainly cannot be repeated.  Last year’s bench was much more formidable and could give opposing manager’s pause.  I’m not sure Tracy will be concerned about Eric Bruntlett, Miguel Cairo or Paul Bako in this NLDS.

            Rockies’ closer Huston Street has undergone his own Renaissance since his trade from Oakland in the Matt Holliday deal.  Though he is oft injured, Street’s 35 saves against 2 blown saves makes the Phils’ back end look even worse by comparison.

            If the Rockies can get early leads in games 1 and 2, like many teams have done against the Phils down the stretch, they could make this a very short series for the defending champs.

            Almost Prediction

            For some reason, I just don’t like this matchup for the Phils.  Phans of the champs would have much rather faced a Dodger team whose number the Phils have and who have played equally as poorly down the stretch.  Let’s face it; no NL team has repeated as champs since the 1975-76 Reds, so history is not on our side.

            Rockies take the series in four.

• If the Rockies pull another late season rabbit from their hat and overtake the Dodgers, who everyone assumed would snore to the top spot in the NL and home field advantage throughout the playoffs after being up an astounding 15 ½ games early in the season, that would put the Phils in the middle of three of MLB’s greatest collapses—their own in 1964, the 2007 Mets’, who were done in by the Phils, and the 2009 Dodgers who would become the Phils’ first round opponent.
  

  Don't worry Amazins'. You're about to have some company.

  One thing’s for sure though—Phils fans should be rooting for the Rockies.  A first round matchup with the Dodgers is clearly in the Phils’ favor, not just because of the Phils having the Dodgers proverbial number but because such a series would come during a monumental LA freefall.  Moreover, a Cards-Rox first round matchup favors the Cards, believe it or not, who boast two of the top five pitchers in the NL in Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter. Ultimately, I just don’t want to play the league’s hottest team in the first round again.

• Speaking of the Dodgers, I remember watching game two of the NLCS last year at a friend’s house and yelling, “Chad Billingsley? I’m supposed to be afraid of Chad Billingsley?” And right on cue, he blew up and the Phils cruised to an easy 8-5 win.  This year, as the Dodgers were rolling to a seemingly insurmountable lead in the NL West, I sort of repeated my sentiment, more in reference to the entire team than to Billinsgley, because LA feasted on an awful division, which would have been the worst in baseball if not for the Rox current resurgence, with a team that really wasn’t all that much different from the team that bowed out with little more than a whimper last fall.  The Phils may have their problems this year (read: the artist formerly known as Brad Lidge) but the Dodgers aren’t one of them.
• If John Smoltz does come back to the NL and dominate like he did in his first start with the Cards (5 IP/3 H/9 K), he should send a bottle of NannyNannyBooBoo to the Red Sox.
  

  Hey Boston...You are so dead if I face you in the World Series.

  Not only is Smoltz a warrior (despite being a human Ambien during his brief color commentary career) but he was not going to limp into a forced retirement like his good buddy, Tom Glavine.  Whether Smoltzy was tipping his pitches in Boston or not, and that suggestion was served with a side of sour grapes, he could be a major factor in the NL playoffs.

• To borrow from SNL’s Seth Myers and Amy Poehler during their Really? With Seth and Amy segment—Billy Wagner…Really?  You want to put the screws to the team who is going to save you from your current Metropolitan Malaise…Really?  You considered not playing for the Red Sox even though it gives you your best and last shot to win, something you said is one of two things keeping you going at this point…Really?
  

  If you guys don't give me what I want, I'm taking my ball and going home.

  You made public your desire to get to 400 career saves…and you want to do it for the Nationals because it’s close to your Virginia home…the Nationals…Really?  You said you couldn’t envision going back to Philly because the Phans “expect too much?”…Really?  Hey, Billy.  Just put a plug of Red Man in and retire…really.

Sieck and Brian had their fantasy football draft last weekend, and while the draft board strategy was a departure from years past, the tomfoolery and skullduggery remained hopelessly in tact.  

by Sieck and Brian

Ah, fantasy football. There’s perhaps no other pastime during which a group of grown men can get together in a room to play a silly game and act like bigger buffoons. Well, at least such was the case this past Sunday when my esteemed colleague Brian and I got together with our friends for our annual fantasy league draft.

This year our league was righteously and poetically dubbed “The Eric Bruntlett Memorial Fantasy Football League,” so eloquently labeled by our commissioner (and my cousin) Lew (who will probably wind up being the focus of this article, but we’ll see). Yes, we know, Eric Bruntlett isn’t a football player, therefore:

Triple play or not, that is one outstanding beard.

A little background on the Eric Bruntlett League: OK, I’ll try to make this brief. Last year, during the World Series, our dear friend Kevin claimed that Phillies utility player Bruntlett was a better player than starting left-fielder Pat Burrell. Now, most of us WERE NOT huge fans of Pat “The Bat” even though he was an integral part of the team. However, we all pleaded with Kevin to wake up and smell the facial hair, as that is the only real good thing about Bruntlett. Of course, fast forward to this year where Kevin’s beloved Bruntlett has only played sparingly and carried a .129 batting average into Sunday, August 23. So, Lew in all his wisdom came up with this name for our fantasy football league to simply give Kevin a little playful ribbing…

HOWEVER, is it a coincidence that on the day of our draft, Bruntlett got a start at second base (giving all-star Chase Utley a day off), went an astonishing 3-4, and ended the game with an UNASSISTED TRIPLE PLAY that hasn’t happened since 1927? I think not, therefore maybe Kevin has gotten the last laugh. Incidentally, Kevin also got the first pick in our draft and correctly (in my humble opinion) selected Adrian Peterson. Oh, and btw, Eric Bruntlett’s middle name?… Yep, “Kevin.”

Now, let’s get on to other matters. Any time a group of friends gets together and combines football talk with alcohol, some truly interesting things are going to be said, and by interesting I mean completely disgusting, awful and offensive. But hey, that’s what friends are all about, right? Now, this is a “professional” site so I’ll spare all of the gurus out there some of the gorier details, but a fine example would be a few choice things said about a former girlfriend of a certain running back from New Orleans. (OK, I’ll admit it, that one was me, but I wasn’t alone in the sentiment). Furthermore, a heated argument broke out concerning the choice to draft a defense in the 10^th round. Now, in the grand scheme of life, I really don’t think this is a big deal, and if there’s any kind of supreme being, no matter who or what anyone believes in, if that being was looking down on this particular conversation, said being would simply be shaking its head. For the record (to give everyone an idea of what Brian and I were dealing with), I tried not to get involved in the argument, waited until the 12^th round (out of 14) to select a D, and still ended up with the New York Giants…      

A few more quick observations: Amongst our crew, there’s a lot of pot calling the kettle black that goes on. Sure, some folks may not have come to the draft physically prepared (lists, etc)—remember “TG,” next year print out lists by position—I would argue that others weren’t mentally prepared, but they’ll remain nameless… for now. Also, to our good friend Mike: I know you like to drink scotch, but if you’re going to curse out gentlemen who take a long time to make their picks, you may not want to take a half-hour yourself… I, for one however, am glad that he did.

Finally, we must touch on our sweet commish, Lew. I’m quite proud to share blood with this man. Could it be because he pawns off half of his responsibilities to others? (He actually paid very little attention to everyone else’s picks after round 11). Well, that’s part of it, but the reason I’m most elated is because he easily had the best lines of the day.  A few of the cleaner examples:

• After I selected Pierre Thomas, he exclaimed, “You should only be named Pierre if you are French and make pastries.”
  

  Funny, this guy doesn't look French.

• Upon seeing the team his brother picked for one of our friends who couldn’t make the draft, “Ryan, why don’t you take this team, and give him yours?”… Priceless.
• On his observations of the chatter in the room: “The next person to say ‘good pick’ is banned.”
• Upon hearing the plight of a certain unfortunate individual: “Would it have been so bad if this person had killed himself?” (Paraphrased).

Lew, we salute you, oh fantasy gridiron king of the one-liners, and long live our league, Eric Bruntlett, and his fabulous beard!  

*************************************************************************************

Though only five years into our 10-team A-Town fantasy football careers, our league has seen little change.  The same three or four teams are drafted horrendously and do not make the playoffs, the same three guys have won all four championships, including two out of three for Brian, and the same drafting schemes have been employed. 

Fantasy pundits will preach drafting a RB in the first two rounds to ensure you don’t get stuck with a backup or stiff and to, in theory, garner the most points because of the frequency of RB touches and TDs.  However, this year our league featured a departure from that model (3 of the top 10 were non-RBs) and an overwhelming desire to draft in the middle slots instead of the top three.

Without analyzing every move of the draft, suffice it to say that WRs were a much more posh early pick than were RBs.  Larry Fitzgerald went #8 overall (Sieck) and Calvin Johnson and Randy Moss were the two top picks in round two.  Andre Johnson and Reggie Wayne soon followed in round two while Steve Smith (the good one) and Roddy White were taken #1 and #2 in round three.  Clearly, drafters in our league, and presumably nationwide, are seeing  a seismic shift in point accumulation led by those talented wide outs.

The return of Tom Brady did not last long in our draft, going 9th overall but after Drew Brees was selected 6th overall.  Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers and Kurt Warner followed shortly thereafter as GMs have finally accepted the fact that RBs by committee are here to stay, so grabbing a top flight QB early is a necessity.

Hi, I'm Drew, and I love to throw the football. Pick me!

Again not surprisingly Tony Gonzalez was the first TE taken (round 5) though many draft boards had him as low as 4th on the TE list.  A proven point producer, Gonzalez owners should be salivating at how wide open the middle of the field is going to be for Matt Ryan darts to the first ballot Hall of Famer.  Personally, I don’t value the TE nearly as much as most GMs, having never drafted one earlier than the 11th round (which is where I got Vishante Shiancoe this year), but I understand that many GMs treat their TE pick in the same way they treat their WR pick.

Sieck referenced the Pittsburgh Defense going far too early (round 10), which sparked a lively exchange between that GM and me, but, again, I never choose a D until one of the final two rounds (where all K should be selected as well) and I have two “rings” to show for such patience.

I’ll spare the reiteration of the worst picks in the draft because Sieck took care of that, but I will add that Saints K Garrett Hartley, he of the four game early season suspension, was chosen in the last round, which is on par in terms of oddity with 49ers WR Josh Morgan being taken in the 8th round. Ironically, the same GM gobbled up both players.

So good luck fantasy gurus.  

Except for the other nine hammers I have to deal with in my league.

This space was originally intended for a piece on NFL coaches who are currently in the hot seat, but after watching the Phils’ Cliff Lee twirl yet another gem last night, I asked myself, “who cares about football right now?”

As the Roy Halladay sweepstakes dragged on through the dog days of July, I wrote (July 21) about how the Phils should give up whatever Blue Jays GM JP Ricciardi was asking for and call it a World Series.  Little did the sports world know that Ricciardi was actually working on a swan song of colossal, career-ending proportions while the neophyte Phils’ GM, Ruben Amaro, was working on the greatest coup in baseball in the last fifty years.  In short, thanks a bunch JP, ya’hoser.

"Yeah, so, my bad. Anyone have any Moosehead?"

When news broke that the Phils were turning their attention to the Tribe’s Cliff Lee, I was giddy. Unlike so many jaded (doesn’t a championship quell that for at least a year?) fans who were convinced this was simply a knee-jerk move based on saving money rather than on winning, I simply started my own mantra while I waited.

The guy was 22-3 and won the Cy Young last year. The guy was 22-3 and won the Cy Young last year. The guy was 22-3 and won the Cy Young last year.

 On one hand, I totally understand where the old guard of Phils’ faithful was coming from.  They had suffered through Lance Parrishes and Craig Jeffereieses for so long that anything besides the prohibitive best (Doc Halladay) would seem like a classic lay up with the 5 iron. Thankfully, my friends, this isn’t our fathers’ Phils, so what it took Tin Cup Roy McAvoy to do in twelve strokes, Ruben Amaro did in two.

He knocked it on.

Amaro tutored under a proven winner in Pat Gillick, a man who said he came here to win a championship and then, well, did it.

"So this is what it's like to be in the middle of things. I think I'll stick around. Someone call Shapiro, stat!"

Let’s not forget that it’s not like Gillick packed up his Hawaiian shirts and rode off into the sunset.  He’s still very much involved in the proceedings, but his capacity comes with more of a whisper than a roar.  When it became clear that the Jays were willing to sit tight with Halladay unless they got every possible high end prospect in the Phils’ system, Gillick and Amaro parted ways with the hottie with no personality and focused on her younger, plainer, cooler sister.

Die hard fans don’t need the stats to back up what they already know—Lee is a stud—but just for the fun of it:

4-0/ 37 IP/ 18H/ 6BB/ 34K/ 3ER/ 0.82 ERA/ 2CGs

The guy’s even hitting .385 since coming over for Pete’s sake. You paying attention, Eric Bruntlett?

What sets Lee apart from so many chest-thumping, shark-tooth necklace wearing egomaniacs is his workmanlike humility.  Much like Chase Utley, the guy is not even his own biggest fan and cringes at talking about his dominance.  Fans who haven’t seen him pitch will be surprised to know that he basically sprints off the mound after every third out.  Now, Phils’ fans haven’t seen him get touched up yet, in any inning, so we don’t know what will happen at the end of a laborious inning, but I’m willing to bet that he still beats the catcher to the dugout.

"I'll tell ya' what...I'll tell you guys what pitch I'm throwing first just to be fair. Here comes the change!"

During his countless interviews when he first arrived, Lee consistently reiterated that is was his job to “put up zeroes” and “give the team a chance to win.” Clearly, he couldn’t have been more prophetic in his assessment.

Finally, I would be remiss to not thank the brilliant Cleveland Indians GM, Rachel Phelps Mark Shapiro for including the Phils on his fire sale. After dumping CC Sabathia last year and Cliff Lee and Victor Martinez this year, you have to wonder if Travis Hafner and Grady Sizemore are going to invoke their inner Jake Taylor, get one of those peel-away cardboard cutouts of Shapiro and vow to “win the whole…thing.”

Good luck with all that, Tribe.

And thank the good Lord for Cliff Lee.

I’m not going to be one of those writers who says he doesn’t want to tell you he told you so because I told everyone so.  The minute this piece ran in ESPN The Magazine and was immediately followed by this  heartwarming ESPN report on “never losing hope” I quietly waited for the rest of the bamboozled world to see what I already knew.

Josh Hamilton is not a hero.

Because my opinion on Hamilton is not based solely on soapbox material but rather on the reality of having to live with someone who “suffers” from addiction, I feel qualified indicting ESPN on several counts of fraud, false praise, and reclamation of character.

Because Josh Hamilton is not a hero.

"I'll do one! I'll do one!"

For reasons that are frustratingly beyond me, the mainstream media keeps searching for guys like Hamilton. Guys who have ruined lives, have spit in the face of God given ability, have reached a level of narcissism previously relegated only to Narcissus himself.

When such a subject is found, producers scramble to put together montages of the person’s life complete with barely audible piano overtures, interviews with ashamed parents and forsaken spouses, and a cornucopia of mug shots, all of which are meant to show us not how far the addict has fallen but rather how far he’s come.

The anti-hero is then paraded in front of millions of “fans” who have gathered to support the failure as he sits, faux humbly, on Oprah’s dais (right, James Frey?), in Regis and Kelly’s directors chairs’, or on some MTV stage as he introduces the top video of the day.

Maybe the athlete has somehow maintained his skills to the point at which he’s invited to compete in an all-star game, a charity event, or some trite skills competition (like the Homerun Derby) at which dozens of kids, wholly unaware of the kind of person for whom they’re cheering, surround and hug the player in admiration.

And maybe those same kids, who are no doubt more tech savvy than their parents, wake up the next day and Google their favorite fallen angel only to find him hammered, shirtless, and on the cusp on adultery.

Is this bar really empty besides these four idiots or is it just me?

“But Josh Hamilton is my hero,” he’d mutter to his own father.

“No, son, Josh Hamilton is not a hero,” dad would say.

See, my problem is not necessarily with Hamilton because, like I said, I knew this was coming. Instead, I’m so tired of people like Hamilton, athletes or laymen, who know they thrive on screwing up, who know they can always convince just one more person of their sobriety, who refuse to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up like, well, themselves again and again and again.

Immediately after his “relapse,” Hamilton claims to have contacted his wife, Rangers’ management, and his teammates in an effort to apologize as soon as possible for such an awful indiscretion.  While I can buy that as being possible, my first question to Hamilton would have been, “Were you rehearsing that speech while you were allowing yourself to be photographed during a relapse?”

What those blessed, precious few, who do not have to deal with addiction in and around their families, don’t understand is guys like Hamilton just don’t care.  If addicts who aren’t part of a multimillion dollar payroll, who don’t get to be on TV, and who aren’t asked to pen their own “inspirational” memoir aren’t willing to ask themselves if what they’re about to put into their bodies is wrong, what’s a guy like Hamilton going to think? While those pictures were being snapped (my favorite is the one in which he’s pointing his index finger in the air; what exactly is #1 at that point?), Hamilton knew he’d wake up to a maelstrom of negative press but he’d still get to take BP, still get to run out to right field, and still get to deposit a check with a whole bunch of zeroes at the end of it.

As a fan of Denis Leary’s brilliant Rescue Me, I got to thinking of this idea of relapsing. I understand what it means and, in some cases, I can understand why it happens. In Leary’s fictional case, his character has to deal with the death of 343 fellow firefighters in the 9/11 tragedy, the death of his son, his own brother’s relationship with his wife, and that same brother’s death all in the first three seasons. So, if I were going to compare Tommy Gavin’s relapse, fictional though it may be, to Josh Hamilton’s it would be like comparing keg stands to body shots. Well, apples to oranges anyway.

What I think ESPN needs to do is to run an Outside the Lines featuring all those athletes they previously canonized who have since relapsed. I mean the entire year’s programming could be hammered out over coffee at a local Starbucks in Bristol.  Hamilton, Mike Vick, Lenny Dykstra, Lyle Alzado, Manny, A-Rod, Bonds, McGwire, Sosa (we need a name for this crew–Mt. Roidmore?), hell, throw Hulk Hogan in there.

Not to belabor the point I made in my Jason Bay (July 8th) piece, but what are the good guys supposed to do?  They wake up, go to work, do right by their families, and try to carve out even a small niche for themselves only to be overshadowed by the darkness of people like Hamilton.

Because Josh Hamilton is not a hero.

"I'm sure if I just apologize, my wife and kids will understand. I mean, I have demons I need to exorcise, right?"

And I told ya’ so.

When the Boston Red Sox signed John Smoltz, they thought they were bolstering their rotation.  When the Oakland A’s signed Jason Giambi, they thought they were adding power to their lineup.  Friday, both teams found out they thought wrong and sent two baseball greats packing.

"Yea, you're done for the day John, shower up...and while you're at it, clean out your locker."

Friday afternoon the Red Sox announced they were designating the eight-time All-Star for assignment – which is a nice way of saying he was released by the team (that’s right, Cy Young award winner John Smoltz was cut by a team).  The future Hall-of-Famer’s numbers were far from that, to say the least.  In eight starts, Smoltz was showcasing a 2-5 record, with an 8.32 ERA.  Smoltz was coming off shoulder surgery this past January, and apparently, he isn’t fully recovered yet.  In his final start with Boston, Smoltz was lit up for eight runs on nine hits in just 3 1/3 innings – all part of a 13-6 loss to the AL East leading New York Yankees.  The Atlanta Braves, the L.A. Dodgers, Houston Astros, and Texas Rangers all have been rumored to be interested in giving the 42-year-old pitcher another shot.

But Smoltz is the least of Boston’s problems anymore.  The aforementioned game was part of a series that ended with the Yankees sweeping Red Sox Nation and increasing their division lead, at the time, to 6 ½ games (now down to 5 ½).  Their bats have cooled off and their once dominant-from-top-to-bottom starting rotation is broken up and changing each day.  Not to mention the release of David Ortiz’s name as a steroid user on that “anonymous list” that was made back in 2003.  Ortiz, who is denying any wrongdoing to his grave, is now the second member (Manny Ramirez) of those championship Red Sox teams back in 2004 and 2007 to be accused of steroid use.

"I'm dead serious when I say this...steriods had nothing to do with my career or why I have been plagued with injuries recently - you got it?!"

Speaking of steroids, Jason Giambi’s return to Oakland was cut short roughly around the same time Smoltz was packing up his things.  The five-time All-Star, and admitted steroid-abuser, was released last week due to injuries and his performance…or lack thereof.  The A’s announced they would be moving him to the DL and cut him this past Friday.

As if that wasn’t enough, A’s GM Billy Beane handed out forms at that press conference so that media members could not only hear, but read and see for themselves just how bad Giambi had been playing.  The form stated the reasons, backed up by the numbers, as to why the two were parting ways.  Beane let reporters know it had everything to do with getting younger players time and with the 38-year-old’s production at the plate.  The A’s MVP in 2000 put up some poor numbers this season – hitting .193 with just 11 home runs…I guess maybe steroids do affect players’ performances.  No teams have reached out to Giambi as of now, but after a few cycles, he will probably try and take another run at playing in the Bigs.

Normally I wouldn’t even think of writing a story about the Philadelphia Phillies rival, the New York Mets.  However, recently the Mets have just made themselves easy targets.  Omar Minaya, the Mets GM, held a press conference yesterday to talk about the recent actions and subsequent firing of Vice President of Player Personnel, Tony Bernazard.  Bernazard tried “tone-setting” within his organization, and apparently, Minaya frowns upon that.

"I will fight every single one of you!"

Bernazard’s first incident was with the Mets farm team, the Binghamton Mets.  According to The New York Daily News, Bernazard challenged his players to a fight following their July 1^st game in Binghamton. He removed his shirt – Incredible Hulk style – and attempted to fight his players one by one, allegedly singling out shortstop Jose Coronado.  All this stemmed from Bernazard finding out that his Double-A team might have been involved in some underage drinking.  I guess we now know Bernazard doesn’t tolerate law-breaking…21 means 21.

Then, later on in the month, Bernazard turned his rage toward some scouts at New York Mets game.  This story, reported by The New York Daily News, claims Bernazard headed down to his seats behind home plate, saw some scout from the Arizona Diamondbacks sitting in his seat, and he just lost it.  One of Bernazard’s assistants tried to calm him and told him to wait until the next half inning to talk to the scouts, but Bernazard couldn’t wait.  He went ballistic on these unsuspecting scouts, and fans at Citi Field got to see a game and a show that day.

Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back, Bernazard got into it with Mets’ closer Francisco Rodriguez.  After an 11-0 beat down by the Atlanta Braves, a few players – including K-Rod – took the bus back to the hotel.  Bernazard was on that bus, and after he saw K-Rod make, what he claims was a friendly gesture to family members, Bernazard decided to discipline K-Rod himself.  According to The New York Times, people on the bus say Bernazard and Rodriguez got into a heated argument, in Spanish, and almost came to blows.  Bernazard backed down, K-Rod went back to his seat, and things cooled off, but Minaya had had enough.

So when Minaya fired Bernazard and fielded questions by the press, why would it be a surprise to anyone that things got weird?  After a few comments, Minaya turned the spotlight on The New York Daily News reporter Adam Rubin.

“You got to understand this,” Minaya explained. “Adam for the past couple of years has lobbied for a player development position. He has lobbied to me, he has lobbied to Tony.”

Find out who is sitting in my seat, and tell them to meet me out front...NOW! (AP Photo/Rick Silva)

Minaya went on and essentially blamed Rubin for Bernazard’s dismissal – suggesting it was Rubin’s  idea.  So a writer, who is writing about a bad team, is really secretly trying to apply for a job with that team? I complain all the time about teams, but that doesn’t mean I am sitting by the phone waiting to get a call from them saying, “Dave, we read your blog, we want you to coach this team!”  This just shows that the Mets are struggling on and off the field.  Minaya fired Bernazard because he lost control; he needs to fire himself for the same reason.

The Mets have failed miserably this season at both the major and minor league levels.  Riddled with injuries, the Mets began the week ten games behind Philadelphia in the NL East. Their Triple-A team, the Buffalo Bisons, has the worst record in the International League and their Double-A Binghamton Mets has the poorest record in the Eastern League.  They just made things worse by firing the only guy who has got any fight left out there…literally.

On June 25^th, the Pittsburgh Pirates asked starting pitcher Ian Snell to accept a demotion to Triple-A ball, after his first 15 starts yielded a 5.36 ERA and 2-8 record.  They had every right to.  However, since then Snell has done nothing but dominate in the minors, pitching for the Indianapolis Indians.  In 26 1/3 innings, Snell has struck out 34 while allowing just eight walks (much better than his 52 K’s-44 BB’s during his first 15 starts), which is more than enough to warrant a promotion back to the Majors for the 27-year-old righty…but not if Snell has something to say about it.

"Yup...I'm pretty sure I never want to play here again, I just wish I knew a polite way to tell management that."

Snell told a local newspaper that he wasn’t ready to go back up, and that, quote, “The team is better off without me.”  Snell also went as far as saying he was depressed while playing for the Pirates, that he had suicidal thoughts during his tenure there.  What a surprise? He is playing in the dismal city of Pittsburgh and for the only team the city has that isn’t a winner – I’d have suicidal thoughts too.  Pirates General Manager Neal Hunnington, like the rest of his team, is baffled by this.  Hunnington responded by saying:  “It’s an odd situation.  You often worry about a player being a malcontent when they go back down and how that’s going to affect your other players around. Ian has actually fit in well down there and has gone about his business as well as can be expected.”

Apparently the Pirates are missing the bigger picture here, because I am not a GM and I have a strong feeling I know what this kid’s problem is…he knows the Pirates are bad and does not want to play for them.  He is having fun winning with the Indy Indians, and doesn’t want to go back to getting shelled in the Majors.  Snell spoke out immediately saying that isn’t what he meant.  “”Why would I say that?” Snell said, “What I’ve told a couple reporters here is that I’ve enjoyed my time here with Indianapolis. It’s a great group of guys. And I think there’s some great chemistry right now in Pittsburgh, so maybe they’re better off without me. But I never said I wanted to stay in Indianapolis or that I didn’t want to pitch for the Pirates or in the majors.”

What happened here is that someone, probably Snell’s agent, told him that he might appear as a problem-player to teams that are interested in acquiring him.  The Pirates have expressed their interest to trade him, but might have trouble unloading him because of his contract – which guarantees him $3.2 million this year, and 4.25 million next year.  So a contract that teams might not want to pick up, topped off with Snell’s stellar attitude, equals a lot more time in Triple-A…but then again, that might be what Snell really wants.

He has made a bold move here, and I almost have to give him credit.  So often in baseball, managers or GMs decide to send a guy down to the minors to “find himself” or “get it together” and they always worry about how it will turn out.  No one can guarantee that when that player goes down, he is going to come back up better than he left.  In this case, Snell struggled in the beginning of the year, so he was sent down to the minors to regroup, and when he got back on track down there and they tried to recall him, he told them “no thanks.”  Even if it doesn’t work out for Snell, or he ends up staying with the Pirates, it’s still refreshing to see the tables get turned on management…Nice work Ian.